so much to say. but nothing to say

i'm bursting with things, thoughts i have to get out.

but i have no words. nothing comes. nothing coherent. it's all bits, fragments, partial thoughts.

images of her.

soundbites of her voice, her laugh. even her cries.

my heart is so full of love and desire for her. and at the same time, i'm empty. so empty. she's been my everything for so long. and i can't have her. she won't let it happen. he continues to have her, but he only knows 5% of the whole of her. he has no idea how much more of her there is. he has no idea how much she suffers in silence. he has no idea how loyal she is to him and their life together.

it's like a greek tragedy or something. i want her. she wants me. but she won't leave him.

he wins - and will never know it.

she loses - because she'll settle for the life he'll give her rather than seeking her own.

i lose - because she'll always have my heart.