and then?

we didn't talk much yesterday (thanks to me). she called me for a few seconds last night to tell me it wasn't anything i'd done. (it's -always- something i've done). today she's in the office for over 2 hours so far. we've talked for 41 seconds. no IM. no email. no sip. cell off

she's busy, i know that. she gets distracted, i know that too.

you can know something and not understand it. i can't imagine not thinking about her for two hours. it simply doesn't happened. hasn't happened in over two years.

i should be glad, happy for her, because it means she's better able to concentrate and therefore to get things done. therefore reducing her stress level. which'll reduce the stress between them. which'll reduce his stress, which'll..... well, i know where that ends. her in a life with the lover she's built that life with.

and me, elsewhere. a memory. trying to figure out what to do now, without her.