home field advantage

it was never a fair game, never a level playing field. he had the home field advantage the whole time.

of course anyone who knows me knows how strange it is for me to use sports metaphors; after all, i'm such a big sports guy. another checkmark on the "against" side of my scorecard.

not only was it not a fair game, but she actively gave him the advantage at every turn. he got extra points, many many many extra points, because he was there first. because they wore the same jersey.

i never had a chance.

it sucks so much. because we really would be good together. she just won't see it. or won't give it any value, no value over what she has with him now. hey, it's already in place, why risk changing it when there's no guarantee it'll be any better? even though -this- sucks and -that- would almost definitely be better, why risk it?

what about love? desire? want? two hearts who could, and should be together?

does that count for nothing?

fucker. he won and he never even knew he was competing. i knew i was. i just didn't know the rules. didn't know the game was skewed. didn't know the prize didn't want to be won.

look at the silly old man. isn't he cute? he thought he could win with love.