sometimes

she scares me sometimes.

she's so determined and so strong that when she pulls back, all i can feel is the strength of her conviction. usually she comes back mostly, but it's still nerve wracking to experience when she turns on her (verbal) heels and walks away.

i've spent a lot of time thinking about where we are now, wondering what i should do or be doing. do i work on ?getting her back? (not as a lover; i know that's gone), or do i just be myself and hope that the me that i am -now- is as likeable to her as the me that she met and learned to like before?

and to top it all off, in 5 short hours she'll be gone for almost 5 full days.