the lack of time

in less than 75 minutes she's going to be gone again. lost to me for another two and a half days. in an hour she's leaving to go to her life, to take a vacation from this work world, the world that i'm a part of, leaving to immerse herself completely in her real life.

he'll see her, touch her, hold her, talk to her, be with her.

and she him. with no distractions. and for the weekend she'll allow nothing to pull her away, nothing else to compete for her attention. him, house, dog, boat, their life. comfortable. secure. controlled.

no worries about anything disrupting their life.

makes sense. there's so much less emotional burden than when dealing with me during the week.

the terrible countdown to being empty. and then the long countdown to waiting for her return on monday, to being not empty.

59 minutes.