my daughter, my lovely, smart, sensitive daughter finishes high school today. her last day.
how can this be? it was just weeks ago, it seems, that her mother and i took her to pre-school and walked her in. i cried that day as i left her there, just as i cry today as she walks, grown, away from me again.
i'm so proud of her. she is a beacon of likeability and intelligence and personality. people flock to her. she's a natural leader, an organizer. she's been class president, chairperson of innumerable clubs and youth organizations. she spurs others on and encourages them to be their best.
i called her mother today and thanked her for raising such a wonderful daughter. and i apologized to her for not upholding my end of the deal.
someday i hope my daughter will forgive me for not being the father i should have been when she needed me.
at least i'm consistent. i've managed to hurt every person i've ever cared about.
people have told me that part of the problem, my problem, is that i've never dealt with issues from my own childhood, from my parents' divorce. but really - do i cast some blame and therefore some responsibility on them? or do i stand up and take responsibility for my own actions?
my own failures.
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