funny. kinda. not "ha-ha", but more like "huh. fuck me."
it's been a difficult couple of days. For me, at least. for her? i think she's just tiring of the whole thing.
i suppose there's been some mental repositioning going on, some attitude and expectation adjustment. on my side at least, because she's still where she's been for a long time: there, with him, not leaving, not looking, not deciding. just going on day to day. well, maybe there's been some movement. not -towards- me, unfortunately. my fault i'm sure; she just doesn't need the hassle of dealing with me and my mental/emotional state while she's got more than enough going on in her own full life.
my world, my future, my destiny, meanwhile, have been changing, shifting, melting away from what i'd hoped and envisioned.
if i can't change and accept the way things are, i'm going to lose her from my life.
if i haven't already.
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