soon...

finally. it seemed like today would never get here. and now that it's here i worry about her - will she get here?

i know she'll get here, but how? will she be anxious to be back to me? will she be anxious to get into her office, drop everything and call? or will she be anxious to get back to the office and get started on the things she didn't get to on Friday and Monday and get to me in a couple of hours when she takes a break and happens to think about it?

have they fixed it up this weekend?

sometimes i wonder if she even remembers me until she gets back to work. five days and not once did she have 5 mins alone to call for a quick "hi"? in -five- days? (four and a half.. so i'm rounding, tuff.) but i knew she wouldn't. she almost never does on regular weekends and this weekend i was with someone. she hasn't called me on a weekend in quite a while.

quite a while.

and we've been having less and less time during the day too. is this part of a cycle or is she winding us down? is she tired of this? or decided to stay?

i can't do anything about it no matter what it is. i can only enjoy having her in my life, whatever part of her she'll give me, until she takes it away. after that, when that happens, nothing much will matter anyway.

in the meantime, i wait for her. anxious, excited at her return. i want to hear her voice, her laugh, find out how she's been.

just her presence makes me so happy, fills me with.. life. i used to do that for her.

soon she'll be back. not soon enough, but soon.