now what?

this is bad.

we're talking after work. it wasn't going great but we were starting to get some communication going. suddenly she says something - i wasn't sure, but thought i heard bf's name, then lots of commotion. it sounded like she threw the phone into a drawer.

which is exactly, as it turns out, what she did.

i listened for several minutes, occasionally catching a snippet of conversation.

i heard him yelling at her for not being able to get her on her cell phone.

"...trying to call you every two minutes on your cell.... what are you hiding... "

he very clearly and distinctly said her name.

there was a lot of noise, like desk drawers being opened and closed.

i never heard her voice so i'd guess she was in the outer part of the office making for the door while he was in her office looking around. she must have turned out the lights and been trying to get him to leave because he said "... why'd you turn out the lights.... what are you trying to keep me from finding?.... i said gimme two minutes...".

and then there was a very systematic series of loud noises which sounded like the drawers in the desk where the phone was hidden being opened, shuffled through, then closed. it was pretty obvious (and scary) when the drawer with the phone was opened. but he didn't find it.

then there was silence. i continued to listen for another 20 or 30 minutes, hoping she might come back, but i'm sure that she got him to leave and they were gone for the weekend.

i can only imagine what kind of weekend she's going to have. my heart aches for her.

this will be an eternally long weekend for me and an even longer one for her.

for me, i fear that she's fighting, begging to keep that relationship alive. and because it's 2-1/2 days until we talk again, she'll be mentally pushing me further and further away, shedding me like sand bags of ballast to keep the balloon afloat. mentally, emotionally she's pulling away, leaving the chasm between us wider than ever before.

for her, i fear even more. she's already battered and beaten, emotionally, psychically. she's withdrawing even more. this beautiful, vibrant, alive woman is being crushed by the turmoil around her.

i'm her friend and i'm not helping. worse than not helping, i'm a major factor in why she's being crushed.

now what?