two become a couple. to celebrate their new life together, they acquire a puppy. the dog grows strong, healthy. it is a fun and vibrant life.
but inside this life something is wrong. a cancer grows. unseen at first. undetected. yet still it grows. there are small signs; a bump, a nodule, a growth. they have a "feeling", hard to discern, that something is amiss. unable to give its own words, the dog feels the growths, but has no words. the couple notices symptoms, pains, discomforts but, confident all is well, is unable or unwilling to accept the possibility that something is not right.
there are episodes where the pains are treated, the discomforts examined, poked, prodded, the symptoms eased for a while with treatment. superficial, topical treatment - new toys, new activities, changes in routine. for a while the pain subsides yet the cancer continues to grow.
finally the symptoms become unmistakeably obvious. unable to ignore the odd pains and lumps and bumps anymore, serious diagnosis is sought. the patient is ill, seriously, fatally ill. for the time being there is still life, love, vivaciousness. but the diagnosis and the ultimate outcome remain the same. those who loved this life, who were part of it, will mourn its passing. death and dying are never happy events, although it can be almost welcomed, if it brings a respite from pain to those involved. the survivors will move on, forever changed, forever touched by this life that was once shared and is now gone.
a death is not something to welcome, although it can bring a release, a relief, almost permission to move on. the death of anything alive and vibrant is a sad thing, whether a child, a parent, a lover, a pet .... or a relationship.
those outside the immediate will offer their condolences, shake their heads in sadness. there will be words of solace offered, perhaps even recriminations and blame. but there is no blame, no fault, no negligence. all things that grow, even those that for a time flourish, die. some before their apparent time. sometimes there are deep unknown differences which, ultimately, are not conducive to long life.
as the end nears and the poison spreads and the quality of life continues to erode, what do you do? do you hang on tightly, preserving this life, unwilling to admit its passing, doing anything, at any cost, to allow it to continue, perhaps to ease your own suffering, perhaps even at the cost of continued pain for the waning life? or do you hold it tenderly, thank it for the years of joy and pleasure, and kiss it as you end the suffering, allowing it to pass with dignity?
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