like a cosmic tragedy

a giant greek tragedy or something.

she is the woman we both want.

he has her. he thinks he has her completely, but doesn't. he probably knows that at some level, but i'd bet the reality is different than he thinks. he probably loves her completely. but he doesn't have her attention fully. might be surprised to learn how little at times. and yet, he'd probably be happy to know what a strong hold he (and their life) has on her. a very, very strong hold.

i have her, in some ways. i have her mind and her heart a good deal of the time. i have the relationship she wants. but not the life. while i may have the sweet/meaty/juicy parts of a relationship that she's discovered she wants, it's not enough, in and of itself, for her to forego all the creature comforts and the habit of the life with him. i think i might be surprised sometimes to know how much of her i do have... at times. i'm certainly dismayed to see how little of her i have at other times.

and yet her position is less than perfect too. she has two men she loves. i'd say she loves us both, probably very much. (although i'll always believe she loves him more than me - otherwise, wouldn't things be different?). one of us fulfills her in her life - he gives her financial comfort, memories of time shared, an ongoing life, a social life, companionship. but in the deeper, inner things she seeks, he seems to fail her. for those things she comes to me. and we share those things so intimately and so completely. i know i feel my love for her just flowing out of me, bursting out of me, all the time, seeking her. sometimes when i think about her, i'm simply overwhelmed by my feelings for her. and the loss of not having her. and i feel her love coming to me. but i don't offer her the things he does, so i too am incomplete in her eyes. i too am a less than complete choice.

so it makes sense that she'd not leave one incomplete relationship only to get into another incomplete relationship. especially since the creature comforts of the first are vastly more. not to mention there's no upheaval in her life to stay, but a lot to leave. not worth all that to leave for another relationship also incomplete.

i wonder - if she were to meet someone that could give her both halves of what she's looking for, of what she wants, would she leave bf to be with the new one?

i don't have her either way, so i'd be happier if she chose the new love. at least she would have everything then, rather than only half. or two halves.

bf would lose her. but at least she'd be happy.

i'd lose her, even though i don't have her now. but again, at least she'd be happy.