my friend

yesterday was a scary day. sort of so-so, back and forth for a while. then, not too long before our end of day talk, i had a feeling that we were gonna have a new beginning, that we'd see and agree on a new path to take to renew our relationship.

then things went to hell, quickly. and i was positive that that was it. for about an hour i was in complete freefall, completely panicked. i was sure that the end was at hand.

and then, we connected again. we made it past the corner and turned and faced each other. and i think we both saw that we were perilously close. and i think that gave us both pause.

and then we were walking the same path again. and from that deep, dark, scary place, the true strength of our relationship came through. and she told me, point blank, that nothing like this, no misunderstanding, no string of days where we just don't connect would come between us.

then she stopped on her way home to call me. and she told me that we'll get through this. and that nothing would come between us. and that we'll be okay.

how did she know i needed that?

i'll still always mourn not having her as my lover and partner. and i'll always want that and hope that somehow maybe there's still a chance that she wants that too and that maybe it'll happen.

but i'll still be blessed by having her in my life.

my best friend.

ever.

now, if i can keep my love in check, we can be free, again.