time apart

what do i do?

i have no influence. i can't convince her to meet me. or give me a picture. or make any changes at work. or take time off. or get an assistant. or stand up to him. or .. or.. or..

there's no time. none. she's overwhelmed at work. the office is closed tomorrow which means stuff that she would've had to get done tomorrow has to be done today. as if she didn't already have too much to do today. so double up on todays' already overbooked schedule.

she's off tomorrow so we won't talk tomorrow. or saturday or sunday, of course. so while we might have hoped for some extra talk time today that now seems unlikely.

she's only in a partial day monday, if at all. so less or no time on monday.

tuesday, wednesday, thursday. and i'll bet he expects her home early on thursday.

that's it till next year.

her stomach is acting up again - thanks, no doubt, to all the stress. work. him. and me.

wonderful.

i wonder what it'll be like to be away from her for such a long time. we haven't been out of touch for that long since... ever. not since we met.

i'm hoping that so much time off work (even though, knowing her, she'll work at home some), and hopefully lessening stress from him and no stress from me will have a positive, therapeutic effect on her. hopefully she'll start sleeping more, her stomach will calm down, she'll be able to get a handle on her life again. she needs time to regroup. with any luck maybe she'll even get to go to a movie by herself, a pleasure she hasn't had in way too long a time.

i wonder where "we'll" be when she comes back to work? it's always been a source of some ?issues? (for me) that she pulls back over the weekends. what'll happen after so long a time? and given that she's given up thinking about any possible "us", and so much time apart.. when she pulls back, will she have pulled back past the point of no return?

i'm already anxiously awaiting her return, our "reunion" next year.

hoping for what might be.

and fearing what might be.