B

we had a very ?intense? conversation before we left each other on thursday night. we ended well - intense, even heavy, but well. my plans had been to go to see my daughter from friday to today, but last minute they changed. so i was still here friday.

i slept late, puttered around, then went to do my hobby thing. about 4, my phone rang.. it was her! now this is where i begin to see that the things she's been beating into my head about how we need to be are right.

i was so happy to hear from her, SO HAPPY! we chatted, talked about her day, mine, my change of plans, what i was going to do instead, etc. it was light, upbeat, friendly. and close. without saying it or discussing it, i knew it. she was -there-, we were close, it was good, so very good. when she had to go, i was disappointed, but not... crushed, not so overwhelmed with her going. in fact, that 12 minute phone call kept me happy all weekend. i missed her, i still so much wanted her to call again, but it was ok.

and today's a test, or sorts. will i start feeling crazed if she doesn't call me for an hour or more after she gets in? i hope not, i think not. i'll be anxious, sure, partly because i've missed her and just want to talk to her again.. and partly because... i need her.

B.