she called :-) we talked :-D
that's the good news.
on the other hand, i'm finding myself again fighting the swing of my emotions. fighting it. i hear her talking to him or describing their weekend and my mind fucking races, RACES ahead to the future.
i'm ?winning? the battle a little, in that i'm stopping myself from spiraling into the black oblivion below, but it feels like i'm holding myself up by pushing my arms and legs out against the walls of the wellshaft. i just have to not look down.
there has to be a chemical imbalance. it has to be. or she owns more of my heart than i realize. or than anyone else ever has.
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interesting. in the 15 mins in took to write this, i've calmed, somehow managed to climb out of the well without falling in.
now i just have to do it every day for the rest of my life.
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