tuesdays. not ruby tuesday, either

it's tuesday. which means she has a lunch "date". (okay if not today, then tomorrow).

hardly a traditional date though. this date is for a single purpose. he's lunch, she serves.

my heart pounds just with the thought of it. -i- did this; -i- put us her, put her there. with him.

i die. he cums. she cums. if not at lunch, most certainly during the evening session.

my own private hell.

one she says she knows well, from the shit i've done to her. she says she can't get the images of me and the other woman out of her head. i understand, completely. and as always, too little, too late.

but the library isn't being added to three days a week. for the rest of her life.

fuck. i'm such a jackass.

B, my love, my intended, my beschert, i'm so sorry.

so sorry.

you may not be living your dream life, but you're happy enough... you say.

g-d i miss you.