my B has a new love!

she has a new love in her life, another new love...

a new dog!

she's been without one since her's passed away over a year ago. that was a huge loss for her and a huge empty spot in her heart. (huh - i wonder why she never realized how much love she was capable of having and giving when she has always been aware of how much she loves dogs).

but now that empty spot has been filled. and not just filled by bringing a dog back into her house, but changing a dog's life from neglected to filled with love - a double dose of charity and love.

i'm SO happy for her. since she lost the last one, i've brought up to her a few times that she should find another, but she was always against it, saying she didn't want to lose the memory of the other. the circumstances of this adoption were perfect for her - i think she knew immediately that this dog and her were going to be together. it's perfect for her and perfect for the dog. the dog will know love and care and devotion without limits. the new addition to her family is young, so they should be together for a good ten years.

when B told me about the dog yesterday, it filled me with joy and happiness for her, kept me company and smiling all night. still does and she even shared some pictures with me today. it truly makes my heart smile for her.

on the "me" side? i can only analyze it as being bad for me or any chance at "us" again. she's got it all now, the true american dream life. husband, lover/Master on the side, nice house, more than enough money, the dog, nice car, her own business (at least one that I know of, probably 2 others that i only guess about), beauty, intelligence. nothing lacking (other than what she and i wanted to share and i'm not sure that's important to her anymore). less reason than ever to change what she has.

almost perfect symmetry: she has it all, i have almost nothing. no job, no "home", no chance to have a dog, no local friends, an ex to support (with no income and dwindling savings), a foreclosure just complete (not coz i'm a financial scumbag, because i made bad decisions about a scumbag partner) and a judgement on the horizon. and i need dental work.