her new love

i can't even say how much it makes me happy that B (g-d how i wish i could still say "my B") and her new dog found each other.

when i talk to B, it's SO OBVIOUS how much love she has for the new dog.

B is a pretty firm believer that everything happens for a reason. without me fucking up our future, B and the dog might not have found each other. is it possible that B and i lost our future (okay, to be honest, i fucked up our future) so that B and the dog could find each other?

am i, my life, whatever value i may have as a person, a friend, a lover, a partner so -little-, so miniscule, so insignificant that g-d saw fit to trade me out of B's life for a dog?

was it a good trade? the dog got B, B got her... and the dog will NEVER, ever hurt her.

which is more than anyone can say about me.