some things you just shouldn't know.
and to think, it's all because of my actions.
the lover that she met because of me, that has taken my place in her life... she's managed to somehow integrate him into her real life. at the very least he and bf have met, if not being drinking buddies and having threesomes.
bf is out of town more than ever and she may have implicit or even explicit permission to play.
what was that movie, where the perpetually upbeat guy gets shot by the Germans, just -minutes- before the Allies arrive? wasn't it "It's a Beautiful Life"?
indeed. except in my version of the movie, i play both the Germans and the idiot who gets himself killed. my actions are the Germans and the life i wanted plays the guy who gets killed. and i, myself, get to play his kid - i get to watch the whole thing unfold. and like the kid undoubtedly was, i get plagued by nightmares of it, get the exquisite pain of watching it play over and over in my head, unable to to make any changes.
and if i'm not mistaken, didnt' the lead actor (Bellini?) get awards for his work? g-d knows i should get some for the amazing job i did.
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