dark days

These are uncertain, scary times.

i don't know where her head is or where her heart is. the easy answer would be that her heart is at home with bf. i'm still not sure that's completely accurate.

meanwhile, we go through the day ?tentatively?. we have less contact and less interaction than ever. i hear hurt in her voice and see it in her words. i feel the hurt, mine and hers, in my heart.

and yet, it's her choice that we're here. she says she can't move. can't or won't? she's scared to move, to change everything that is the life she's built with him. she wants change. she just doesn't want the change more than she fears the loss of him.

and as of today, she's more invested in their life together than ever, less interested than ever in a life with me, and putting more distance between us.

not a great prognosis.