the unbearable lightness of being (alone)

this is the first time i've really felt it in a long time.

after a not-so-great day, she told me, about 15 minutes ahead of time, that she was gonna leave early (fine, 5, so "on time") so she could get some pc stuff done at home. two minutes on the phone and bam! gone.

then i made another trip moving crap from old place to new place. not only did the movers not show up and i wound up having to move it all myself, but the new landlady might be ... an issue.

good night at poker though. it's fun and i think my playing's getting better. but no way to share my fun with b. go home alone.

early up for the dentist. two hours in the chair. sent b several messages after the time she got in. no response. not even a hi.

and .... the reason she had to leave early, the pc work? didn't get to it. maybe tonight. wonder if that means she'll be leaving early again?

this feeling of loneliness really started descending on me at the dentist. every minute that passed was accentuated by knowing that not only was she not there, not willing to share daily life with me, but not even there, period.