another friday, another weekend. more days, lost days, without her.
more days lost forever. more time we'll never have and never be able to get back.
and zero chance of talking.
so today, again, i have to act like everything's okay, like it's no big deal that she's going off into her life and i'm going off into mine.
it's not okay. it's not okay on SO MANY LEVELS.
it sucks. sucks sucks sucks.
but i have to send her off to her life with him with a smile even as my heart collapses.
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About Me
- Student of Life
- Mid-life, divorced. My Description - Probably immature - "arrested development"? Probably selfish, self centered, emotionally immature. Insecure. Someone else's description: "a warm, interesting, stimulating, sincere, funny, sexual, imaginative, caring, giving man". You reconcile the two, I can't.
Cast of Characters
- me - 50ish, divorced. Married almost 18 years. I've discovered a lot about my own sexuality and what I want sexually. I found B in July 2003.
- B - female, 40. Was in a serious, live in love relationship for 14 years. Married for almost two years now. We made an almost instant sexual, emotional and intellectual connection. B is the most sexual, sensual woman I've ever known. She's professional, a business owner, strong, hard headed, stubborn, up standing.
- bf - B's
boyfriendhusband.
Blog Archive
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2006
(272)
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November
(21)
- damned if i do, damned if i don't
- that was then, this is now
- hurt vs honesty
- peripheral vision
- emotional dichotomy
- counting down the hours till
- holidays, take 1
- too much time
- punched in the gut.
- oh, uh, nevermind
- and again
- just another day? hardly...
- lost and directionless
- the unbearable lightness of being (alone)
- it's only time.. no biggie
- fuck fuck fuck
- silly me
- two sides to every coin
- lyrics in life
- the times they are a'changin...
- dark days
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November
(21)
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