Almost every day when I wake up, thoughts of B cross my mind before I even get out of bed. She's with me all the time. If she winds up staying with her bf and we never get together, never get the chance to see what we're like together, it'll always be one of, if not the disappointment of my life. There's no way to describe what she means to me without sounding smarmy, syrupy sweet, textbook romantic or like puppy love.
I love her. I love her for the sex we would share, but even more I love her for -her-. She's so amazing. She's smart, funny, sharp. She takes no crap from anyone. She has a wicked sense of humor. She likes action/suspense movies more than chick flicks. She's a successful business owner. She's sexy and sensual and sexual and she knows it; she doesn't flaunt it, but she knows that she's a very sexual woman. I love her. I've never met her.
Talked a little this morning, always a highlight of my day (anytime we talk). Bf has a thing tonight. She never used to go to them. Before me, she went occasionally, but didn't really care for it. After we started talking, these nights were our time, a chance for us to have as much as 2.5 hrs together, talking. These nights were always something I looked forward to, very very much. Now they're gone, again. Maybe not forever, but for the foreseeable future anyway. Ever since he found the phone, she's been almost completely unable to get any time alone, much less time after hours to call me. His thing starts tonight and she said she'll probably go, most likely will go. She didn't say it this time (although she has in the past), but I could hear in her voice that she's not happy about having to go. Missing our time together, her feeling trapped, all that makes me sad, makes her sad as well - she says she misses our times together.
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