she said something this morning that i need to forget, need to ?clarify? for myself (if not for her), lest it become something it was never intended.
it would be very easy for me to grasp onto this as a thread of hope, as something to hope for, wish for, wait for. but it's not. and how crappy would it be for me to hope, wish and wait for such a thing to happen.
she said "...[most likely]... he'd leave me...".
it'll never happen B. never. he loves her. he's stayed with her through everything that's happened. he still wants to marry her, still wants her to bear their children. he is as in love with her as ever. he loves her at least as much as i do (g-d is -that- hard to admit).
there's no way he'd ever leave. never.
good. just saying it helps clarify it in my head, helps me disregard it, accept it as a non-possibility, a never-happen event.
she'll stay. he'll stay.
i won't interfere any more.
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