i should take her cue - it's all "mind over matter". if you don't mind, it don't matter.
problem is, i mind. greatly.
i mind that she's gone. i mind that the minutes tick by so slowly, making it a small eternity until i find out what happens today. i mind that she's pefectly okay with trading love and intimacy and promise for money and routine and habit. i mind that i no longer have a goal for my heart to work toward. i mind that the promise that the future once held is gone. i mind that she doesn't have as much time anymore.
but, as i've been told, i have no control. period. i'm like the kid in the car seat - i can turn the wheel and beep the horn but it has no effect on where i'm going. just because -i- mind doesn't mean it matters.
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