as if i could ever forget that her indulgence of me is at her pleasure and subject to his whims and the demands of -their- life together.
she gets mad at me because i "pushed" something on her to do and her life and preparing for the upcoming holiday takes up all her time and then she doesn't finish doing that something. and i'm to blame.
and i get to put myself near her, dangerously, deliriously close to her. close enough to feel her presence. and wait. and wait. and wait.
until the "no" comes.
and after this no comes, four days of complete silence. a holiday weekend for her and him.
solitary for me. plenty of time to reflect, examine, try to understand.
try to accept.
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