I admit - it's Presidents' Day and I don't know if B's office is closed today or not. I suspect it is because they have a very liberal holiday schedule. But, we didn't talk about it on Friday (I didn't remember and she didn't mention it), so I'm not sure. Like most other days when I don't hear from her till later and later in the day, my conviction waivers.
Is she off today or just not calling? If she's working why hasn't she called or IM'd? If she was home, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't IM, email or call me so as to not leave any traces that bf might find. With today being a (pseudo-) holiday and her apparently off today, it makes sense that she would have been in the office yesterday.
If she was in the office today for some amount of time why wouldn't she call or IM? If she was working today, she'd have contacted me, wouldn't she? Even if she wasn't working today but went into the office, she'd have contacted me, wouldn't she? Perhaps bf was in the office with her.
So does that lead me to conclude that she's -not- contacting me for some reason? I've racked my brain but can't come up with any reason for that - we ended last week on a very good note. So.... what? What's going on? I'm trying very hard to not let my imagination run wild.
She must be off today, right?
I have to get this under control. There might be months, years, a lifetime of these days ahead of me.
She's said to me, more than once, that our not being together is just because of bad timing. Fuck.
Where are you B?
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