And today?

And what will today bring? Will she call? I know in my heart she will but my nature (natural insecurity) has to chime in just to add a little uncertainty.

If she was off yesterday she'll probably go in early today - she's likely in the office right now. Of course that raises the hope that she'd make time to call early, before the demands of the day kick in, call now when we could have a relaxed conversation.

But she's driven. She's tough on herself, always pushing, pushing, pushing. In her position she should be driven, but perhaps just a bit less. When I was her age I was that way too - working long hours, coming in early, married to the job. (Thank goodness I'm older and jaded now!) I've tried to tell her to go easier on herself, to not put so much pressure on herself, but she doesn't really hear it. You know those Type A's! Not only is it her personality, but she can (anyone can, I did) rationalize that it's just because of this unique set of circumstances or just until this project gets done.

Besides, an older generation can never pass on what they've learned, usually the hard way, to a younger generation. It seems like a natural law - every generation thinks their particular circumstances/generation/environment is unique and that what the olders learned doesn't really apply to their situation. It's probably always been this way and probably always will be this way - every generation needs to make the same mistakes and learn the same lessons. Pity. I wonder how much different we'd be as a species/civilization if we could build on the life experiences of those before us.

Whew! Now that's pretty heady stuff. Back to reality...

B. I want to say "My B" but that's not really accurate because she's not mine. She's her own and she's living her life where she wants - with bf.

Shit - just saying that makes a wave of sadness wash over me, such a feeling of loss. I can't finish this now.. maybe later.