two days and counting

i wonder if she's counting? i wonder if she's still very aware that she's been married for two days now.

or perhaps she's just aware of how long she's been away from her lover.

g-d knows, i'm aware of how long it's been since we talked.

and how long it's been since she got married.

and how long it's likely to be before we talk again, if we do.

and when she's likely to be able to finally get together with her lover again. for the first of many get togethers. adultery? yes. do i care? fuck no. well, that's not true - with my whole heart i wish she'd choose to not see him any more. or ever again. i wish she was fucking me. i figure four days from wedding to the first time. and then back on the active schedule she's been on.

not that i blame her. or have any excuse to talk.

fuck, i miss her.

i wonder if she's even thought of me -once-?