23 hours and counting

it's been almost 23 hours since she said "I do". 

twenty three long, long hours. she didn't call at the eleventh hour to say she'd reconsidered and decided not to go through with it, that she wants me instead. nor has she called since to say it was a mistake, she intercepted the JP to prevent him from filing the paperwork and that i should immediately fly to be with her.

so i guess that was all just -my- fantasy.

i wonder if she's made contact with her lover since? she won't see him till tuesday or wednesday. he'll have to wait four days. 

i waited four years. and then blew it. for no good reason.

i thought i'd been in hell the last four months. that was just the anteroom. 

a lifetime of emptiness awaits.