it's an interesting time

it's an interesting time.

i've been doing some things for B, things that I've asked her to let me help her with for a long time but that she always declined. 

i'm not sure why she agreed to let me help out now. it might be because of the length of time we've known each other. it might be so that she can relieve some of the work load on her during what is a stressful period. not that i really care the reason - i'd do it (and more) no matter what. even if it was just so she'd have more time to be with her lover.

i feel good that i'm able to do something of value for her. not that i deserve to feel good about anything.

i love her. i want to be near her. 

i wish that would be helpful to her. or that she'd let me do it...