i can't believe it

the last day we could have any time together before she goes away. a day i'd hoped would be full of happiness for her despite the crush of work.

a day i'd hoped would bring some promise for a future of -us-.

instead, more hurt dragged up from my actions of the past. another day when she couldn't even stand to talk to me and had to disconnect completely.

the wishes i have for her and have sent to her for her future will be completely sullied by, yet again, my actions in the past. 

so instead of a day where i could -add- something to her and to her day, something positive and maybe even uplifting.... i have yet again hurt her.

all i wanted was to love her, to be her friend, to send her off knowing that, despite it all, i really do love her and want the best for her future.

why, HOW did i lose sight of that... of her?

of us??