why is it that i can basically go all weekend knowing she's back in her real life (not that i like it but, hey, i don't really have any choice or say, do i?), and then when we're back in contact, i fall apart again?
in the bigger picture it amazes me how fast the days go by and each one feels wasted because if she ever did decide to be with me, they're gone for good... and yet, the time spent waiting for the other shoe to drop is interminably long.
when the condemned lay on the guillotine waiting for the blade to make its descent, i wonder if that final minute seemed inpossibly long. and impossibly short.
the ropes' already been pulled. tick. in my minds' eye i see the catch retract, freeing the blade. tick. gravity clutches at it, slowly accelerating it and sending it inexorably downward. tick. it's been forever waiting for the end that's coming. and it'll be here way too soon.
tick.
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