i give

she wins. i lose. i give up.

not gonna meet me. not gonna see her.

not gonna reveal herself. never gonna be able to call her at her desk.

never gonna have more time than we have now. only less.

not gonna be a real part of her real life. gotta settle for so much less than what could've been.

not ever going to be able to tell me how she feels; about me or him or their life. but that says a lot, don't it?

never gonna hear her laugh without a thousand miles of phone line between her lips and my ears.

not a news flash. she's said all that from the beginning. i'm a slow learner.

she's not gonna look at her life to see if it's what she wants. she didn't this year or last year or the year before, despite her assurances she would. that says a lot, don't it?

she's not gonna let herself out of what -she says- is a bad relationship. but who would stay in such a place? that says a lot, don't it?

so i'm 0/1000. good thing i don't play sports.

but, i am gonna take her advice and seek professional help.

that way i can live out the rest of my 2nd place life and be happy.

yeah.