She may be -partly- right

She says I don't have any idea what -real- pain is.

Her point being that what I did to her? Now THAT caused real pain. And in that regard, she's absolutely correct - I cannot know exactly what she experienced as a result of what I did. I never will be able to, either. She knows I'd take all that away from her if I could.

She didn't talk much today. We started out okay but quickly went downhill and then she disappeared for a couple of hours. Then we had a short talk before she left work.

Before she left work early. To be with her Master. Her lover, her sex partner, her Master. The one that she found because of me. The one that she's now enjoying on a regular basis. Instead of me. And because of me.

So right now... RIGHT THIS VERY FUCKING MINUTE she's with Him. While I don't know exactly what they're doing, I do know.

She's known this particular kind of pain, because I subjected her to this as well.

Does she really think this isn't pain?

I would give ANYTHING to have her be interested in a future that centered around "us" - her and I.

Anything