jinx.
and then ... switcheroo.
i'm not supposed to be thinking or believe that she intends to meet in feb. i'm not supposed to make her my priority. i'm not supposed to do anything to ?align? my life with hers.
but why not?? all of a sudden she doesn't want me wanting that or thinking about that. why? or why not?? what changed, so fast, that we could go from wanting, knowing that we're gonna be together to wanting me to think that at there's no chance of meeting?
it was lunch; has to be. the ten minutes with bf during lunch - something must have happened. or, just as likely, she got mental images of what it'd really be like with me. i'm sure that'd have been enough to get -anyone- to change their mind.
so i'll do what she requests; mostly. i'll tell her that i -know- we're not gonna meet. and that i'm not thinking about it. and try to act like i'm okay with it.
and when that time passes, i'll act like it was no big deal. after all, why would meeting -the one-, finally meeting her, starting our time together (coz yeah, i do think that if we ever met our time together would start from right then), be a big deal?
only the biggest event in my life to date.
obligatory musical reference:
Nickelback: Feeling Way Too Damn Good
... somethings' gotta go wrong coz i'm feeling way too damn good...
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