the initial conversation was good enough. she sounded good.
when i asked her how she was today, she said "fine. same". great. "same" means as yesterday. and yesterday was not a good day.
in chat she's distracted, slow to respond. "Cool" even.
whenever she's pulled away before it's always been very hard. but overnight i seem to pull together, gain some hope and confidence that she'll be back tomorrow. and usually she is.
this feels different. she's -gone- further than i ever remember before.
i fear she's decided my future. and it's not the future i want.
i even asked her last week: why don't -I- get any input into what -my- future is??
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her horoscope for today and tomorrow don't sit well with me either. she and i have talked about her finding a lover to have her own experiences with and/or her finding a Dom to experience. last night when we were winding down our convo, she was busy on the pc, even staying after she said "i have to leave -now-" and we'd said good bye. i wondered then if she was looking for a lover or a Dom.
and today's horo says:
"...And you could end up meeting someone who has a profound effect on you.... and some interesting and enjoyable experiences could be in store for you today."and i wonder now.
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what happened to her over the weekend? it bothers me enough just because i care about her and she's obviously dealing with -it-, whatever it is. but to think that our future, or the chance of one, may have evaporated and i may never know why - that's unbearable.
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