huh

i didn't think that when the time came, that i'd be stoic and strong. i think that's just what it looks like from the outside. from this side, it's anything but. painful, overwhelming, unfathomable, inconceivable, unimaginable come to mind.

there was so much to gain.

so much lost.

i'll bet when the numb wears off it's gonna really suck.

and the crowning glory is that when she looks back on this, the thought that will always be with her is that i couldn't get past "me" enough to even try to help her.