Disappointment, hope, longing

Friday was a seriously sexy and erotic day. we talked and chatted all morning and afternoon about sex. First about sex in general, about our Thursday talk, and then about increasingly specific and hot sex.

The very hot sex that she wanted, that I wanted, what she wanted from me.

We didn't get time though. She had last minute business stuff to do. Then she figured we had about an hour before she had to leave. She called him to tell him that.

Fucking prick bastard. He gave her a hard time because the office was already closed, why wasn't she home already, etc etc. Fucking bastard. He gets her all the time... ALL THE TIME. He was going to have her in their house, in his arms, in his bed all weekend. He couldn't fucking let her have one fucking hour on her own?? I know it sounds stupid to ask why he wouldn't let her have an hour to be with her lover, but fuck... ONE FUCKING HOUR. When she came back on the line to me she was so stressed.

And she was so disappointed. I think she was also stressed because she anticipated how I'd be, how disappointed and that I'd make it harder on her when (in her head) she had no alternatives. But I did my best to understand, to not make it more difficult on her. I think I surprised her, because I was understanding. Disappointed of course, which she could certainly hear in my voice, but I didn't try to hold her.

I think I was better able to do it, and mean it, because I KNEW she was disappointed. She'd been anticipating our time together all day, as I had. She was horny and hot, ready for the sex she'd asked for, and most importantly to me, she'd told me all along how much she wanted it, was anxious for it, anticipated it.

I wanted it too, even more so because of her desire. What she wanted I won't say because it's too private right now, especially given that we were denied the time to play together that we should have had. But I wonder if she was able to ask him for what we weren't able to have together? Would she be able to? I don't know; I want to say she wouldn't ask him for those things, couldn't ask him for them. But she might have, might be able to, especially if my thinking is more wishful than based on knowing her.

Did you get what you wanted B? Those things you wanted Friday, were you able to ask him for them, did you ask him for them?

It's so confusing to want her to get all that she wants and at the same time to want her to not get them with him, only with me. It seems so ?selfish? on my part.

My desire for her, the desire, the want, the lust that she built in me all day Friday has not diminished in the least. If anything it's grown over the hours since (44 hours, but who's counting?) and will continue to grow, I know, until we talk and then until we finally get to touch, to share, to have what we wanted then.

B, where are you now? What are you doing? Do you think about me when we're apart for the weekend? Have you been thinking about Friday?

Do you know how much I want you?