not on -that- day

for no particular reason, other than curiosity, yesterday i did some math.

yesterday was the 2,400th day since B and I first talked on the phone. we'd chatted and/or emailed for about a week before that. not counting holidays and sick days and days we didn't get to talk, that means we've talked about 1,700 days.

if it takes us 600 more days to get together, for 3,000 total, that'll be 10/09/2011. that seems way farther away than looking back to the first day...

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there's a significant family event coming up soon.... interestingly, on the day after the 5th anniversary of my divorce. Or, you could say the 1st day of the first year without one legal obligation. I'd hoped, against hope, that B would come to it with me. She'd always said she would, that we'd be together by then.

as the days have ticked by, she's become less sure.

yesterday she made convincing arguments on why she -shouldn't- be there. they make sense too.

it's also a way to prepare me for -not- being together by then.

not that she needs another reason. or any reason at all. i suppose being married is reason enough, ya know? there needs to be a compelling reason to leave a marriage, ya know?