I'm a jerk

Rome wasn't built in a day, but it was burned in one.

I was a basket case yesterday. Sunk so deep in my own depression, distraught at the unfairness of a life that would let me know her but not have her, I was anything but a friend to her yesterday.

I could tell she was getting less and less tolerant of me as the day progressed, but I could not get myself out of my funk.

I feel like everything we've accomplished in building and rebuilding our relationship over the last few weeks has been lost, like i've completely screwed it up, pushed her so far away. She must be disgusted at my weakness.

I need to talk to her, hear her voice, hear her talk to -me- as her friend even more than yesterday. But I half expect that I may not even hear from her till late in the morning.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

UPDATE: an hour past 'normal' and no word.

I knew it.