what choices?

no matter which way i turn, i'm faced with a no win situation.

she can't see herself leaving because "i'm here. we have history." and every single day that passes is another day there, another day of history to keep her there.

every time i say anything about how she's there and obviously making her life there and not inclined to leave, she tells me that the more i say things like that the more she accepts and believes them, making it less likely that she would ever leave.

when i see her making no move to move, it hurts me to the quick. my hurt makes her pull back and therefore less likely to move.

i want her to be happy in -all- of her life. yet i know that the more happy she is there, the less likely she is to move.

in engineering, positive feedback loops are bad so negative feedback loops are always used. positive feedback works like this: the more of something you see, the more generate, hence the more you see, etc, until the limits of the system are reached. with negative feedback, you set the system so that when what you see reaches a certain level, you apply negative input to restrict how much you put out. my desire for her is a positive feedback circuit - the more i see/hear/know her, the more i want. get more, want more, ad infinitum.

yet i have no control, no influence, no say. i can do nothing to help achieve the future i want. but anything i do can deter it.