I can't do this. I'm not strong enough.
I'm not strong enough to start over. Or to be alone. I don't have the strength to be happy or the energy to be unhappy.
I don't have the strength to watch her be so unhappy in her life and yet be so unwilling to change it. Whether I'm watching her be unhappy or just know that it's so, it'll slowly destroy me. So beautiful, so warm and loving, so giving, her soul has so much to live for, so much to give to the world, to someone special. Why is she so committed to being unhappy with him?
Another day. Another piece of me withers and dies for lack of her.
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About Me
- Student of Life
- Mid-life, divorced. My Description - Probably immature - "arrested development"? Probably selfish, self centered, emotionally immature. Insecure. Someone else's description: "a warm, interesting, stimulating, sincere, funny, sexual, imaginative, caring, giving man". You reconcile the two, I can't.
Cast of Characters
- me - 50ish, divorced. Married almost 18 years. I've discovered a lot about my own sexuality and what I want sexually. I found B in July 2003.
- B - female, 40. Was in a serious, live in love relationship for 14 years. Married for almost two years now. We made an almost instant sexual, emotional and intellectual connection. B is the most sexual, sensual woman I've ever known. She's professional, a business owner, strong, hard headed, stubborn, up standing.
- bf - B's
boyfriendhusband.
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