another fucking weekend

another fucking weekend... in more ways than one.

B and i used to have a love/hate relationship with weekends... love because for a year or so, we got to have lots of time talking on saturdays and sometimes sundays. hate because we were apart and because sometimes we didn't get that talk time. later, after we lost the phones, we just hated the weekends. her because of what was happening in my life, me because we were out of touch and then because of what i knew was happening in her life.

even though we're talking again (and talking a lot) we still hate the weekends. at least, i do; i think she does but it may be more of a dislike (because she fills the weekends with -him- and fucking and all kinds of things). my weekends are a little different. my drinking has been increasing for well over a year, to the point where .... it needs to be gotten under control. (no, i don't drink and drive). my weekends consist of finding something to do during the day (which often means reading or watching tv or movies) and waiting for happy hour to start so i can get shitfaced and forget.. forget what i've done, forget what she's doing at that very moment (well, hours). i've noticed that happy hour has been starting earlier and earlier.

and, this weekend, the fucking starts again. in earnest. she's taken about 2 weeks off from fucking -him- and given it to us as talk time. it's helped, helped me, helped us, a lot. but it's time. bf has been pushing to have -him- over (no, bf doesn't know about -him- and B fuck on the side, or that she wears his collar) for a night of fucking her. and -he's- been pushing her for it too. and, i imagine she's itching to get back to it as well. so, i imagine, they'll invite -him- over, have a drink and maybe a quick fuck, then go out for dinner, drinks and maybe dancing or pool (or fucking in the pool hall, which they've done), then back to her house for hot tub, blow jobs, ass fucks and a long night of fucking. followed by a morning and afternoon of more of the same.

happy hour starts really early this weekend.