impotence

a bad(-ish) relationship day on friday, which she ultimately salvaged by calling me last minute to see if we were okay.

another long weekend without her.

an anxious monday morning, waiting for her to return to my world.

an then, not being invited to join her in her day. -not- being on the receiving end of chats. not being invited to lunch. not being able to get her to -want- to talk. not being able to get her attention at all. jumping up and down, waving to and shouting at the inner-B, the one that i know, but because she won't look over this way, not quite being able to catch her eye.

and completely impotent to do anything about it.

i try to chat; short, concise responses. i try to call; brief and "gotta go". i talk, stand here with my arms open and waiting for her; she stands -there- with her arms crossed. i ask if she wants to talk and she says "about what?".