it's so good to FINALLY be able to feel that things between us are FINALLY ?solidifying?, maturing, (seemingly) moving toward a future that is hopefully much like the one i want. and this feeling wells up inside and grows and makes the world feel good and hopeful. and finally, finally, she seems within reach, it feels like maybe, just maybe, that which i've wanted and hoped for for so long just might be within the realm of possibility.
and on the other hand, the days drag by. i want to tell her "i'm good baby, i'm ready, i'm yours. say the word, please, and let us be together, starting now". but still the days drag by. still she goes home to him. and the bleak specter of more months without her, even the possibility of forever without her, lays heavy on me.
how can she feel what i feel, want what i want and yet not take any actions to get there?
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