sometimes there is no right way

or: i really do always get it wrong.

i purposely looked for cards that didn't have "love" or "sweetheart" or anything to do with "the love of my life" in or on them. instead, i went for more "friend-y" coz i didn't want her feeling like i was (still) trying to force my feelings onto her.

likewise, i didn't write anything on those lines. nor did i want to ?emphasize? how she should be concentrating on fixing her relationship with him instead of being distracted by me. so i went for (what i thought was) positive, "best time of your life" instead.

wrong. on both counts.

"cute". "great." "obvious and different."

clearly being or rather, trying to be "sensitive" is NOT my forte'.

i can let her have all the feelings and emotions and keep her distracted from her life and relationship and therefore trapped and unhappy. or, i can stop trying to pull her away (which is not gonna work anyway) and let her be mad and unhappy about what we've lost.

two choices: bad and worse. but at least in the latter she'll eventually turn back to him and start fixing herself and their relationship. and if it's not fixable she'll figure that out and eventually leave. but at least she'll do what's best for her.

i've tried and tried and tried, but can't figure out any way to make this a win/win situation. either he wins and she wins or he loses and she wins.

i'm not gonna have her, so i lose no matter what.

(everyone who's tired of hearing that, raise your hand... 1, 2, ... 4,564, 4,565... okay, i get the picture...)